My personal operating manual

How I work

When I dug deeper I discovered the concept is used more widely, and realised how useful having some documented way of describing how I “work” would be in many contexts, not just work.

So, in the interests of openness, here’s mine. Let me know what you think.

N.B. There are a few formats available, but I’m reusing the one Tom Connor has referenced in his article.

I am a people person and take real nourishment from having a diverse range of personalities to get along with so I like to be open and cheerful. I’m a chatty person by nature and like to talk, though try my best to recognise that not everyone is. I’m a sensitive person by nature, and hold compassion and empathy as two critical elements of how I like to show up.

I have sometimes described myself as being “condemned with caring” which means that I find it hard to walk by something happening that I feel is wrong, even if it would be easier for me to put my head down and walk on by. This also means I tend to take things to heart and get frustrated at general “wrongness”.

Making my family and my friends proud and showing up as the best version of myself I can be is central to my value system. Having a broad and diverse circle of friends is hugely important to me as I take strength from company and I crave connection. Whilst sometimes time to myself is good, extended periods of isolation really make me very unhappy and down.

I’m also a strong believer that the soul needs to be nourished as well as the mind and body, so pursuits such as my music are critical to my sense of wellbeing. I have a basic belief in helping one another, and particularly those less fortunate, so believe in trying to help where I can.

I’m not particularly fussy, just as long as you do! Joking aside, I’m definitely a carrots rather than sticks person — shouting at me I find upsetting so I’m likely to shut down rather than respond positively. I tend to disappear into my own head and get lost there if left unattended for too long. The scientist in me means I tend to doubt myself first so positive reinforcement is very welcome.

In terms of the mechanics of how we communicate, as long as it’s in an appropriate way I’ll make most things work without getting too upset. I’ll take things to email if it’s complex, official or otherwise needs to be properly qualified and clear.

Lack of courtesy and respect is a real no-no with me and I will take it personally. Whilst everyone is under pressure and occasional lapses are natural, serial offenders in disrespectful practices (e.g. assumptive closes really, really wind me up) tend towards zero on the points scale. Questioning my integrity or trustworthiness is probably just about the worst thing a person could do to me as well.

I’m a logic nerd, so don’t react well to being shouted down with no data or reasoning. If we’re discussing pros and cons and you can show me a logical flow of reasoning as to why and how you’ve got to a position then I’ll see that as an opportunity for me to learn and improve my own opinion rather than fight you over it. Certainly don’t try and shout me down and/or treat me like I’m an idiot!

I really welcome positive reinforcement as I am a perfectionist by nature and like a lot of scientific/technical types will instinctively err on the side of self-doubt rather than over-confidence. “No news is good news” as a feedback mechanism I tend to find particularly distressing if I’m doing something new and not fully sure of my ground.

I’ve never been poker-faced and tend to wear my heart on my sleeve so you’ll probably know if I’m bothered about something. I respond well to humour as well as general empathy, so making me laugh is a good strategy.

I think most people, particularly at work, would consider me as a confident person but as I described above I am a generally sensitive person so I do take things to heart and I am a born worrier. These are both things I actively work on but ultimately they are essentially part of who I am and I like to think that they contribute positively to how I show up, and in my being thorough in my work.

I’ve always quite enjoyed surprising people. For example, when people meet me when I’m DJing, they’re surprised that I do what I do by day. Likewise customers and colleagues are always tickled when they find out that I DJ — I think it’s the last thing they expect from someone who talks to them about things like IT governance!

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